Category: thoughts

I am a firm believer in the statement of fact. Not that I do not have my own opinions, I have plenty–most of which I believe to be true. This is where everyone’s downfall is. We all think that our own opinions are the correct ones, and sometimes we are even willing to fight to the death to defend them. The problem comes in when we begin to believe our opinions to be factual–even if they aren’t.

Your opinions are your opinions, but we need to at least hear out the opposing argument before completely dismissing it. We cannot be stuck on that ledge of self righteousness for an eternity. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and someone else’s may be more valid than yours. Hell, a broken clock is even correct twice a day!! (Yet another euphemism I’ve been dying to use!)

My point is, you cannot instantly think that your opinion is fact and everything else is just poppycock! HAHA–I just said poppycock!! Back to the subject. Do some research people! Everyone has a phone in their hand practically 24/7. Get your thick skull off of social media and check into some facts!! You would be amazed at how much REAL information is out there if you just go searching for it! We developed opposable thumbs for more than just scrolling!!

For that matter, get your head outta your ass (social media) and take a look around the real world!! ASK other people THEIR opinions! We all have them–and some are based on utter BULLSHIT!! But you wouldn’t know that unless you were willing to listen to them and do a little research–it won’t hurt, I swear!! Well, it might hurt a little, depending on whether YOUR opinion is the wrong one. But you wouldn’t know that either unless you look into it.

Before you begin spewing nonsense, make sure you have the FACTS straight. And understand that you may not be right, it’s OK. (I, for one, wouldn’t know what that’s like…) And I realize I had a bit of a tangent into a social media rant. Don’t worry, I will get into that later, too.

Good evening everyone. I have been thinking recently about being judgmental. I’ve never been one to judge much–after all, we all have our faults and you never know what kinda day someone has been having. For that matter, you never know what kinda LIFE someone else has been having. Sure, I also believe in being self reliant. That is, if you won’t do for yourself, you shouldn’t expect someone else to do for you. You can only expect to get out what you are willing–or able–to put in.

Some people might get some type of satisfaction out of judging others. As if to think, “Well if this person has it that bad, I must be doing something right!” Can we all agree this is an awful way of thinking?! Really, you can only feel better about yourself because you find fault in others?! Yes, I know this IS actually true–AND true of MOST people. But seriously, shouldn’t we be trying to lift others up instead of trying to put them down–just for self gratification?!

Admittedly, I don’t usually go out of my way to help others, but I will step in when I see this kind of nonsense blatantly happening in public. I can easily get on board with standing up for the little guy. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if this action is a result of my upbringing. My family is this biggest bunch of judgmental frauds this side of the Moon! And this is where I actually get my thought processes from–seeing things done the WRONG way for years and realizing, I am not trying to be like that.

Here’s where my head is at–when you decide you want to judge someone else, trying looking at yourself first. Is that person walking down the street looking disheveled worth my mocking? Haven’t we all had a bad day? Maybe this person just lost a job, or worse yet, maybe a family member recently passed. Who are you to judge?! You have no idea what this person’s mindset is or what they have been through. And just the opposite is also true. When you see some rich guy driving an expensive car down the road, do you immediately think he much be a huge doucher?? You have no idea how he made his money or what he has had to go through in order to afford that costly vehicle.

Again, being judgmental seems like a huge waste of time and energy. Plus, sometimes we need to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes to understand their journey. Furthermore, do you really have your entire life all neat and pretty and wrapped up in some cute bow? Before you criticize your neighbor, take a look at your own life first. Afterall, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones! (I always wanted a good reason to use that phrase.)

Round three.  Let’s try to get this be true to yourself ideal under wraps finally as I kinda jumped ship again in my last rambling.  We know where these ideals come from—Nurture.  And we know that making decisions can alter your life—What If.  Now let’s see how well we can stay on this path.  When faced with a decision, we must decide how the outcome will affect our lives.  I don’t mean deciding what to eat for breakfast, but it could be as simple as what time to leave for work in the morning (or whether to even go to work for that matter).  This is where nurture and being true to yourself will cross paths. 

Have you made decisions your whole life based on nurture and this, to you is being true to yourself?  Or, based on nurture, have you decided to throw those beliefs in the trash because you do not want to end up like every other miserable person around you?  To you, THIS has become being true to yourself.  Either way, you HAVE made a decision.  Whether it is correct or not is based on your happiness.  Because happiness will be our barometer of successful decision making. 

We will throw some scenarios out there.  You believe that whatever you do in life, the result needs to be happiness.  Does this mean that to be true to yourself, you may need to do some awful things to get ahead in life?  Is your happiness based on wealth and you would drive the bus over a co-worker to get ahead in your company just so you can have more money?  Is being true to yourself worth potentially ruining another human being’s life?  How important is wealth to you?  Can you still get by with less?  Or would you only truly be happy with more?  Let’s be careful about being true to yourself at all costs. 

Again, your end result of life decisions is based on happiness.  Is your happiness based on doing good in this world and helping others?  Does this mean that wealth is not at all important to you?  Would you constantly contribute monetarily to good causes based on being true to yourself even if it means you cannot pay your own bills?  Do you downsize your life to compensate for this?  Do you spend your waking hours volunteering for worthy causes which in turn means that you cannot afford to hold down a good job?  How much does this affect the relationships in your life?  If you have a significant other, do you constantly worry or bicker over how to pay the bills because you have short changed your money making abilities so you can help others in need?  Does this truly make you happy?! 

I think I need to re-evaluate the thought process of being true to yourself.  This seems like it is actually a truly idiotic ideal.  When making decisions, especially life altering decisions, there needs to be a give and take, a yin and yang.  There are pros and cons to everything.  The process needs to be based on weighing these effects out.  Being true to yourself will be part of the process, but it cannot be the ultimate decision maker.  Humans are stupid by nature, only our good decisions can make us smart.  You must come up with a process which will help you decide.  And, understand that with most decisions, you are not the only person who will be affected.  Life altering decision making is risky business and cannot be taken lightly.  In the end, being true to yourself, in most cases, is just plain stupid. 

The moment I re-read my previous post about What If, I realized I had gone completely off script.  That post was supposed to be about being true to yourself.  And I understand how that could’ve gone off the rails.  So, let’s get back to the original thought process, shall we?  Be true to yourself.  Make decisions based on your beliefs.  Where do these beliefs come from?  Is it nurture?  Do you believe that the sky is blue because that was GOD’s intention?  Or do you understand the science behind it and know that the sky being blue is a reflection of oceans off of our ozone?  Hold on, about to go off the rails—again.  This is a topic discussed previously, and I’m sure will come up again in the future…to be continued at a later date. 

Nurture.  We are all raised in the image of our parents (or grandparents, or foster parents, or any number of other scenarios for that matter).  They put ideas in our brains from a very young age about how to speak, how to walk, how to present yourself.  Some of this is done unconsciously, some of it is taught with a purpose.  But, your brain does pick up on things instinctively.  So whether your family has realized it or not, your thought processes are being derived from what you see going on around you as well as what you are being told.  It is up to you decide whether you want to follow in those footsteps or not.  I believe this is the birth place of being true to yourself. 

Let’s start with this scenario.  (I also realize my brain processes faster than my motor skills, so I constantly need to re-read and add certain details back in).  You are raised in a family that does not have a lot of material things, but enough to get by.  Yet, it is a very loving environment.  Your decision making process going into adulthood needs to make a determination between  A:  Love is enough and it does not matter what material objects I can possess;  and B:  I do not want to live my life without nice things, I want something better for myself.  Which of these decisions could truly bring you happiness?  Along the way, has your family tried to teach you to be better than them or do they believe what they have should be enough?  The road you decide to travel will become your being true to yourself mantra. 

Here is another scenario.  You are brought up by a family living in the lap of luxury.  Anything you could possibly want is simply handed to you.  If you follow in your family’s footsteps, you could be set for life.  But, no one in this family seems to be truly happy.  You are told from a young age how to be a gentleman and how to appreciate the finer things in life.  Yet, there is no joy; no loving, nurturing feelings.  Because you do not know what else you could be feeling, since this is what you have come to believe is how it should be, do you grow up wanting more?    If you were to experience something that brought you absolute joy, but it meant giving up that luxurious lifestyle, would being true to yourself mean that you are changing your thought process or would it not be important enough to you to step out of your comfort zone? 

Being true to yourself.  Is this an ideal that could actually change while traveling down your path of life?  Do our goals become different at some point along this road?  Are we capable of making life altering changes which could truly make our lives better?  Or do we just have a skewed vision of happiness based on nurture?  Nurture is a funny business.  These ideals are ingrained in us from a very early age.  Some of them we hang onto and some are dropped along the road as if we are littering.  These nurturing ideals are sometimes hidden way back in the corner of your mind and only seem to jump out at the most inappropriate times—SURPRISE!!  Nurture is something given to us unconsciously and subsequently accepted by us unconsciously.  At some point you need to wake the fuck up and start making your own decisions.  The only question is—do you make these decisions based on being true to yourself and your long standing beliefs, or do you blaze your own trail and make being true to yourself your bitch!! 

Be true to yourself.  Everyone says it, but what does it actually mean?  I believe that it could mean different things to different people in different situations.  For instance,  your scenario may involve being faced with a tough decision which could potentially change your future or even your entire life as you know it.  And it could be a good thing, but would you be willing to…throw a co-worker under the bus to move up the corporate ladder;  or lie about a current relationship in order to start a new one that may involve a better financial situation;  or hide something from your family for fear of ridicule even though you believe the benefits outweigh the pitfalls? 

The situations and scenarios are endless, and the decision making process can be grueling.  But if you are quick to make a decision on a life altering event, does it make you too care free, or does it mean your decision making qualities are lacking, or do you simply believe in something so whole heartedly that you are willing to take the risk?  Why is this thought process even in my brain at the moment, you ask?  I honestly do not know, I don’t have any major decisions to make currently.  But, I look back and realize just how many of these life altering events there have been along my journey, and I have a habit of wondering What If?  It is mind boggling to think of how different your entire universe would be if you had simply made ONE different decision.  ONE.  Think about that for a moment.  ONE singular decision alters your ENTIRE future.  It’s scary to hypothesize the complete difference your decision could have made. 

What If is a road not often traveled, but a rabbit hole of potential regret.  Although, What If could also help you gain perspective on realizing that this exact moment in time IS exactly where you are supposed to be.  I understand that I am taking a very negative approach to this thought process, so I figure a bit of positivity would be good.  You may have spent your entire life making all the right decisions and doing all of the right things and you may be happy with where you are in time.  And in this moment you have no need to wonder What If.  But, I do not believe this is the bulk of the population.  How could a life be lived with NO regret?  How could a life be lived never thinking What If I did this differently?  These ideas keep people up at night.  And why does my keyboard keep sticking on the SHIFT button?! 

If you made ONE decision that was not following your personal rules or strange beliefs, but your world was made better by it, does that make you a bad person?  If you continually stick to your guns and make decisions based on what you’ve believed in your whole life, but you are extremely unhappy with where you are, does that make you a bad decision maker?  How is all of this determined?  Is it strictly based on happiness?  Can you make sacrifices that constantly help others even though they ruin you?  Could that bring you happiness?  Can you hold onto hope that the universe will eventually realize all the good you’ve done by doing the right things and being true to yourself, and eventually reward you?  Would the reward be fulfilling?  Would you eventually be satisfied?  Or was it never worth it? 

Happiness, I believe, is the ultimate goal in life.  What other reason do we have for being on this Earth, in this Universe?  But how do we quantify happiness?  Is it a good job and a nice house and a loving family?  Is it doing good things for the environment?  Is it helping others?  How do we know if we are truly happy?  Let’s face it, happiness—and every other emotion, for that matter—is simply electrical signals being sent from your brain.  And everyone’s brain and thought processes are different—no two people could be wired alike.  So, what makes one person happy, does not necessarily make the next person happy.  In turn, not everyone would make the same decision when faced with it.  (I’ve also realized I miss the SPACEBAR…a lot).  Does that mean that one person would be happier than another?  Again, it’s all in how you quantify it.   

Being true to yourself could mean that you are destined to live a life of misery.  Or it could lead you to exactly what you have always wanted and dreamed of.  But, along the way, did you have any tough decisions to make?  What If you had simply made ONE different decision?  Send your brain down that rabbit hole for a few hours!